
And now, for this month's completely unverifiable tale:
MARY TODD LINCOLN’S FIRST LOBSTER

As told to Mark Ricketts
by Earl Hornswaggle
My grandfather met Abraham Lincoln and his wife way back when he was head cook up to Vice President Hamlin’s Bangor mansion
“Well, Vice President Hamlin was keen to show his guests a good time, and he for sure wanted ‘em to take in the local color, so he agreed that’d be a fine idea. It didn’t quite turn out the way they planned though, ‘cause when Mrs. Lincoln caught sight of those caged and skitterin’ critters, with their snappin’ pinchers and beady little black eyes, she went t’ twichin’.
“When grandfather dropped one of ‘em in boilin’ water, and it turned red as the devil, well, Mrs. Lincoln had herself a conniption fit. She got to screamin’ so much, the president had to wrassle her down.
“Years later, the vice president told my grandfather that Mrs. Lincoln completely lost her mind and they’d packed her off to the booby hatch.
“My grandfather thought on it a mite, looked Mr. Hamlin in the eyes, and replied, ‘guess I shoulda served clams.’



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