“We have our eye on a long-term goal, which is to ensure that after you go through the trial, the hearings, the appeals, the case will be upheld,” Farrar says. This means, in part, making sure families keep their composure in the courtroom.
“There is a protocol, and people don’t know that,” she explains. “It’s very important in the courtroom, because if they are too emotional, the judge may view it as prejudicial to the jury
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What makes this woman come to work every day for the past decade knowing she’ll face such heartrending situations? Farrar knows what it’s like to be in her clients’ shoes. Back in 1974, her only sibling, William Nicola, died at the age of 29 from gunshot wounds received when three men held up the scrap metal yard where he worked. His killers got away with $700.
Mary was visiting Maine with her husband’s family when her mother called from New Jersey to say that Billy had been shot.
“That’s when I started my journey into victims’ advocacy, but I didn’t know it at the time . . . I think I am so compelled to do this job because we never went to any hearings; we weren’t notified,” she says. “I tried later to get reports and couldn’t.” It wasn’t until Farrar started at the Attorney General’s Office that she realized how angry she was. “I get angry for my families, too.”
Farrar began her advocacy career in Maine’s District Attorney’s Office in 1990, then moved into homicide victim advocacy in 1996. From the beginning, Farrar used her own pain to create comfort for the victims in her care. “Every time I see the families, something kicks in and I know I have to be the strength for them. I still love this job.”
She is also quick to acknowledge that she doesn’t do it alone. “I can’t say enough about our homicide investigators. Bill Stokes is awesome. Our AG (Attorney General Steven Rowe) is very sincere, very dedicated to homicide survivors. He’s done a lot for homicide victims here. The detectives for the Maine State Police work very hard. The DA’s Office, the advocates in the DA’s Office . . . these are people I can go to and vent or replenish or whatever I need to do.”
This week, Farrar will be part of a bittersweet celebration when a convicted murderer is sentenced at Penobscot Superior Court. Next week, she’ll begin the grueling process anew when a homicide trial opens in Rockland. Yet, despite the emotional drain, Mary wouldn’t have it any other way. “I’m still in contact with many of my families. Friendships develop. They take you into their lives. Where are you going to find a job like that? The rewards just outweigh everything else.”
